Om Umbrella Morals

On Umbrella Morals

A. G. Gardiner is a typical modern essayist. He can treat with ease both serious and light subjects. In the essay, “On Umbrella Morals” he deals with moral lapses in human beings in a humourous manner. He gives examples from his own experiences to substantiate his argument. 

Once Gardiner’s silk umbrella was taken away by someone and that person has left behind his cotton umbrella. Gardiner says that these types of men will not rob or pick a man’s pocket or forge a cheque, but he does not feel guilty about having carried another man’s umbrella. Such people will calm down their conscience. Gardiner describes such evasion of the pricking conscience as ‘Umbrella Morals’.

The author says that there are some persons who will swap umbrellas, or forget to return a book, or will take the umbrella at random from the barber's stand. Then that person will say that he took the umbrella in mistake. 

Hats are also exchanged just like the umbrellas and books. Once the author’s silk hat was stolen, when he was in the smoking room of the House of Commons. He went out without hat as the person who has stolen the hat had left nothing in return. The author says that a member of the Labour party could not have taken away the silk hat for he avoids such luxuries. When the Labour party leader, Will Crooks, wears a silk hat, it is as inconceivable as the Archbishop of Canterbury wearing a bowler hat. 

Gardiner says that people steal the books of others as casually as they steal umbrellas. When a famous critic died people found a big library in his house. There were rare seventeenth century books. It was discovered that he had borrowed these books from different libraries but never cared to return them. The borrowers of books deliberately forget to return the borrowed books and with them they build their own library. Afterwards they refuse to lend books to even their close friends. 

Gardiner observes that even the man with a weak conscience will be forced by it to return an umbrella if the owner’s name is engraved on it. Once by mistake the author had brought home a golden umbrella. When he saw the owner’s name engraved on it, his conscience awakened. He immediately returned the umbrella to the real owner with compliments. The author has learnt an lesson that he must write his name on his umbrella. 

Under the pseudonym of Alpha of the Plough, Gardiner has contributed much to English literature. His essays are humourous as well as thought provoking. Even trivial subjects gain importance at his hand. The present essay is a classic example of his style.